You know what I want? Not to win the lottery or go on vacation to the Caribbean. I want normal people problems. Like, am I getting enough fiber? Why did my friend say that insensitive thing about my weight?
So if I didn’t understand I was being asked to be best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody’s best friend.
Some people say that I’m so much prettier on TV, and people come up to me in the airport, and they’re like, “You kind of look like Emmy Rossum, but she’s really pretty”.